Home - Useless Tip to Shrink "TITs"

Rudy Falcon's Tribute to the Fedex PeoplePak:

Guaranteed TITs for TATs

at Reasonable Rates

Pictured (above):

Are Bell Labs' engineering team poses with the revolutionary PeoplePak.**

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A Tribute to the Parody Website named

"Breaking News."

**The Photo & Quote (above) are from the Parody website in an article titled:

“FedEx Introduces Overnight PeoplePak.” The article was posted in 2000.

(Breaking News is sadly now a defunct website)

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Photo & Bell Lab Quote ref'd above is:

Thrifty Air Traveler (TATs) now have a New Option!

TATs can now Buy rock-bottom airfare and shrink their Time-In-Transits (TITs) every time they fly.

The burning question....is how?

Instead of asking for Coach-Class; just say you want Cargo-Class. Then just board to your assigned "Loading-Dock." FedEx's new Cargo-Class Service for TATs is branded as The FedEx PeoplePak.

TATs can now forgo the luxuries of Coach-Class by simply hopping into a Fedex pouch. Upon your arrival at the loading-dock you will be safely secured in the Cargo-Bin.

And as an added bonus:

If "overnight delivery" is chosen,

Then....

Your TIT is guaranteed for all TATs! ;)

“Precious-Cargo on-board"

Picture (above) is the PeoplePak:

Pointing out its added-value features such as improved air flow & decompression protection***

The Fine Print:

***The article did note: "A couple people accidentally exploded during decompression testing," but are confident the FAA will “come around.”

Photo & Fine Print ref'd above are: